help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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