I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
