He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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