we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
