Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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