There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
