I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Still dying that you shit outside
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
