i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
