My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
