you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
