I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
