i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
