So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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