I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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