Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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