Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
