he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
