Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
