I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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