They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
