This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
