Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize