Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
