This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
