I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
