all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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