dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
