are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm both gender and math confused
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
