The maid of honor just puked.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
