i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
3 2 1 whiskey
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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