yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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