she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
