chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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