when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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