The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
