writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
