At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Shame - the story of my life.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
