Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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