I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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