She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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