mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
