Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
