this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
