so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
