when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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