People in love make me want to vomit
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
