I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We don't watch enough power rangers
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize