what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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