the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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