is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
