so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
