I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
