so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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