I'm really into asian looking animals
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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